Sex in the blue room in pretoria

The standard samoosas (mince, chicken, potato and cheese and onion at R3 each) are an ideal snack to take back to your desk.

They offer a large selection of toasted sandwiches, burgers, some steak and chips options and – for those living large – even a mixed grill consisting of steak, chicken, russian, vienna, egg, polony, cheese, chips and salad (R100).

For lunch they serve a number of delicious salads, such as the Tribeca Caesar, with grilled chicken, rocket, crispy bacon, croutons and parmesan shavings (R72).

Other options include some pasta dishes, great open and toasted sandwiches, burgers, wraps, and, of course, the best coffee and a range of other beverages.

There’s nothing fancy here: plates are durable and potions large, such as the full loaf of mutton bunny chow at R105.

Nothing comes close to their prawn curry or prawn madras (prices on request), but if you need something simpler for lunch, try the chana masala (R65), a Punjabi speciality featuring chickpeas, onion, garlic, chilli and fresh ginger.

A stone’s throw away from iconic Church Square and surrounded by gorgeous buildings such as the Old Reserve Bank, the Palace of Justice and the Old Raadsaal, this day-time-only venue is usually packed with lawyers and business people, and on occasion a few wandering tourists.

As for sex - well, it's really mostly a matter of foreplay; the lights go out at the critical junctures while a digital clock counts the seconds at comic speed.

The play presents a series of climaxes, all of them sexual, followed by brief post-coital scenes that are sometimes devastating in the emptiness they reveal.

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Gourmet sandwiches are made with either tramezzini or bagel, with toppings such as spinach, feta and olives (R42), grilled halloumi, peppadews and cream cheese (R45) or chicken mayo, bacon and avo (R48).

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