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Some people believe having segregated dating systems buys into the stigma that can leave you feeling dirty and ashamed, “devastated” and “depressed”.As one friend tells me: “Considering I have herpes, I can’t think of anything worse than a herpes agency.” The concept made something that she only has to think about when suffering an outbreak—much as with a cold or the flu— into part of her definition of self.The rise of online herpes dating sites has been a revolution for people with HSV-2.Dating other people who are also seropositive for herpes eliminates the need to worry about spreading the virus, which can be a huge relief.Everyone with an STD can join us regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation or gender.
Some of these new digital dating agencies, which are free of charge, cater specifically to certain diseases, while others take a more general approach and don’t just confine themselves to the incurable: Chlamydia and even thrush are all on the handy drop down menus.
The stigma still persists, however, and this can make dating very challenging for people who have the herpes virus.
They become afraid that no one will want to be with them, or that they’ll spread their infection to their partner, or that they’ll never be able to have sex again.
Positive Singles boasts of 30,000 registered UK members - while Herpes Dating says it has 794,600 members – with more than 60,000 dating success stories.
Let’s face it: it sounds like a bizarre concept, but even if the stigma attached to STIs is hideously out-dated and redundant (it is), there’s no denying how difficult it can be telling a potential sexual partner about something you have contracted sexually from someone else. “I don’t have the confidence to simply broadcast my condition,” he says.
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When you have herpes, dating is something that can produce a ton of anxiety.