Dating site for black girls
I know that I don’t represent every black girl’s time spent in the online dating world.
I have black girlfriends who’ve had relatively decent, pleasant interactions, which is wonderful. I do still wonder who else out there has put up with this kind of unwanted attention.
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I try to remind myself that no one ever said online dating would be a wholly pleasant experience.
Partly because I want to experience different forms of dating, but mostly because the energy of weeding through hundreds of gross and racist messages from strangers is, to me, the very opposite of self-care.
Last year, some important conversations were sparked surrounding the kind of street harassment women face on a daily basis.
But in my first major foray into the world of online dating, what struck me wasn’t so much this idea of not being wanted, but the kind of men who apparently wanted me. But from day one, I got tons of messages, many of them one or two word lines like, “Hey sexy,” and a larger majority of them reading, “Hey chocolate.” These weren’t worth the energy it took to respond. Gradually, I began to notice a theme — the majority of the messages I received, mostly from white men, fetishized my appearance and sexualized me based solely on my race. ” “I’d love to slap dat big juicy booty.” Once a guy was good enough to message me just to tell me that I look like “something you find in the zoo.” Another man, after luring me into a false sense of security by opening with a pleasant enough conversation about one of my favorite TV shows abruptly changed the subject to pose the question: “Do you act black? He replied, “I like black women minus the attitude. A brief sojourn into Tinder world marked the worst of it — some neckbeard called me the n-word when I said I didn’t want to meet with him.
I automatically deleted the app and haven’t been there since.
So there's no real sense of the taboo when it comes to dating online.
On my Tumblr blog I’ve gotten creepy messages, and had my personal photos posted on ebony fetish blogs.
Some might say that the solution to avoiding this kind behavior is to delete my blog or my profile, to block the guys I don’t like and focus on the ones I do.
I created my first online profile in 2013 on Ok Cupid, a tiny baby step into unfamiliar territory with no real set goal in mind.
All I knew was that as someone painfully shy around men, dating in the real world, in New York City, felt downright impossible.